The Countdown

For me, waiting is always the hardest part about being pregnant especially when having a very active baby squirming around inside of me starts to get pretty uncomfortable! However, after Charlotte came four months early, and after losing a baby (around 12 weeks last spring) waiting is something I pray this baby does every day!
When Ned and I first discovered we were expecting we were overjoyed. After the initial excitement over this new life growing inside of me, fear slowly started to take the place of joy. I started thinking, what if I lose this baby, or what if something happened when I was pregnant with Charlotte that makes it impossible for me to carry a baby full term, I began to try not to form an attachment to the new baby. I told Ned I didn’t want to tell the boys yet because I feared we would have to tell them once again how their baby brother or sister went to be with Jesus. I didn’t want to go to the doctor only to see the baby and heartbeat and have it “taken away” all too soon. Ned and I decided that it would be best for us emotionally if I waited till I was 12 weeks along before I went to the doctor. Well, needless to say God got a hold of me about 8 weeks into the pregnancy. One of the great blessings of being raised in a Christian home and being taught scripture at a young age is that, even when you’re not actually reading the Word, God can still use scripture that you've learned through the years to convict and encourage. My absolute favorite passage of scripture ever since I was a young girl has always been Psalm 139. I could have never known then how God was going to continually use this short passage of truth to strengthen and encourage me throughout my life! I won’t take the time to write out the whole chapter here but if you have a couple minutes, pick up your bible and read it…I promise you will be encouraged even if you’ve heard it a thousand times! It wasn’t that I knew after dwelling on the scripture that God was going to deliver to us a healthy whole baby but more that I was at peace knowing He would be there for me whatever happened just as He was when we welcomed Charlotte 4 months early and when we said goodbye to baby Ryun last spring. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” After spending some time in prayer and confessing my fears I went to Ned and told him I really wanted to go to the doctor and see the baby. Ned went with me to that first doctor’s appointment at 9 weeks gestation and we both had tears in our eyes watching our teeny tiny baby move around and seeing and hearing that precious heartbeat for the first time.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body."

Turns out it was really good I went to the doctor before 12 weeks because, after doing some tests, they found I have a blood disorder that was probably the cause of the miscarriage and what caused the blood clots with Charlotte. They had me go on blood thinners right away. For the first 20 weeks of pregnancy I was giving myself injections twice a day, since 20 weeks they had me cut back to once a day which I will continue up until 6 weeks after Hudson's birth. We are ALL completely head over heels for this sweet baby boy and anxiously wait his arrival! It's been hard trying to explain to the boys how long they'll have to wait before they can meet their brother face to face so a few weeks ago they helped me make a "countdown to Hudson" chain. Each day that goes by they take turns tearing of a link to the chain. Because of the way they had to deliver Charlotte, I will have to have another c-section with Hudson. We already have a day to look forward to...May 26!





Okay, this post has gotten away from me...I guess that's what I get for trying to catch up on 29 weeks of pregnancy in one blog post! I'm not making any promises but I will try to be better at updating this...especially for my sisters in Okinawa! Love you two and all my sweet nieces and nephews! More pics to come...